How can we go about clearing the narcissist from our Aura? After years of shame and difficulty, I know now that I am not the only one who has suffered through an abusive or even narcissistic relationship. Most of my female neighbors did, too! So many women are coming clean about the true nature of the intimate relationships they had to tolerate in the past. Cleaning up the mess patriarchy has made is going to take several generations.
So Many People Are Talking About Clearing The Narcissist
Why are so many people writing about narcissism these days? And even sociopathic and psychopathic behaviors?
Finally, in the West, we have a language developing to describe abusive experiences with intimate partners – and there are now systems to categorize them.
This language is the language of emotions and history. Our new languaging is now backed up by the legal rights Western women have had recently restored.
If we didn’t have a right to our bodies, we still wouldn’t be speaking this language even now.
Sarah lawrence
People are discovering they are not alone in their suffering. In the past, marital abuse was known about and accepted to varying degrees.
Now, we are finally feeling safe enough – at times – to wash our dirty laundry in public. It will take a while, several generations perhaps. Things might seem to be getting worse before they get better.
Yet, waking up to the truth of the quality of our relationships and the low expectations and bars set in relationships will ultimately be a great legacy for all our children.
My Neighborhood Is Full Of Previously Abused Women
The neighborhood where I live now is (kind of) a retirement community. I love it, it’s quiet, and yet straight out onto our street, we are opposite one of the nicest shopping areas in town.
They are smaller houses in a condo-type setup, so more affordable.
Another bonus I didn’t realize when I bought the place is that the bus stop to the local college is a 2-minute walk from the front door, this worked great when my son was a freshman in the local college.
My closest female neighbors are:-
- a Texas school teacher who put up with her husband’s lack of emotional intimacy for years on a Texas farm, and one day decided enough was enough.
- A doctor’s wife, whose husband ran off with his nurse.
- A college lecturer, whose husband was so paranoid he slept with a gun in the bed. Ultimately, she left.
- A pilot’s wife (like me), whose husband was so narcissistic, he ultimately alienated her and her family.
- And there’s me, married to a pilot for 17 years. Manipulation, cheating, and mind games are definitely subjects for a future book (see sidebar). My ex is now living with the person who was our marriage guidance counselor. (And I chose her to help with his cheating). You cannot make this stuff up.
Why I moved from our previous family home
After my ex left abruptly (twice, the second time after my oldest daughter’s funeral), I was left with a conundrum.
Should I live in the big house for a few years, helped by alimony via the divorce, or move and find a way to sell, somehow?
The house we had lived in had a big front and back yard that I was left to maintain. As a Brit, I don’t tolerate the hot Kansas summers well, so I struggled to keep up.
Also, I used to love gardening, but after my daughter passed, I suffered from several health issues and couldn’t bring myself to take care of things outside in the heat.
Ultimately, I was able to sell the house to a flipper, who gutted the inside, which needed a lot of work.
We Made It Out
Somehow, I dragged myself, my son, and my dog 6 miles up the road to our peaceful new place. A lot of the details are blurry. Especially since the week after we moved in, the Covid pandemic began!
The best part about it is that my ex is not allowed access.
He tried for regular access initially so that he could visit without having to expend extra energy by having his son at his new house (with the new partner).
The previous house was where my daughter tragically passed away, so moving was much better for my mental health and that of my son.
The ex pressured us to stay in the previous house
I believe he was motivated by the idea that ultimately, he would get more money for his half of the sale.
It would also look better (in his estimation). Look, see, I’m taking care of my family in this house.
And he would still have some control over our living situation, no matter how bad it was for our emotional health.
Other than Christmas, his visits usually consist of taking his son to dinner without his partner present.
Yet she’s a therapist and teaches Behavioral Psychology at a local college to young, impressionable students.
Time To Leave Survival Of The Fittest Behind
There are so many reasons I could list why partners like this behave as they do: –
- The need for men to survive somehow, and have to earn the lion’s share of the income. A patriarchy is imbalance and stressful.
- Childhood abuse.
- Physical, emotional, and verbal abuse.
- Genetic karma, or inherited family patterns
- Culture.
- The Patriarchy.
- Mental Illness.
- Heritable DNA characteristics.
- Internet porn.
- Women in survival mode.
- People are raised without the language to express themselves emotionally.
- Lack of emotional regulation.
- Put your reason here__________________.
Yes, I’ll Have the Superwash, Please
But now there is enough traction and enough relationships in the wash, that we KNOW something must change!
It’s time that we learn to raise people to be both self-aware and emotionally cognizant.
Humanity must become a higher vibrational collective consciousness to survive.
Leaving a trail of broken women who have had children — who may have become damaged as a result — is NOT the legacy that will take us forward.
It’s just the same old, same old. We can start by clearing the narcissist from our Auras.
I’m ready for the Superwash. No matter how painful or difficult. We must consider the legacy of all our behaviors – and how our children will be affected or afflicted in the future.
We can’t call a trail of broken partners and children a good legacy.
